Let me lead you into an activity. I want you to imagine....ready? Imagine you have invited your friends over to your house for a game of monopoly. You open your door to your friends and right in the middle of your living room .... your friends see.. ( hold your breath..literally)...your friends behold...yeww....SHIT...yea that's right ...defecation, dung, excrement...in your living room. Even imagining it must be dreadful no? Let us go back to the imagining activity....ok, now you see the look on your friends faces... I am supposing, you'd be drowning in an unfathomable and limitless ocean of embarrassment now, and so you quickly lead them to your bedroom...only to find a RABID STRAY DOG on your bed!!! You must feel like killing yourself now...atleast I would. Ok, now you can stop the imagining activity. But, there are those who dont feel embarassed even in situations such as these, take the general secretary of the Commonwealth Games Organizing comittee Mr.Lalit Bhanot for instance, he'd just say "Everyone has a different standard of hygiene. The rooms in my house may be clean according to me, but you guys have some different standard of cleanliness."

The Commonwealth Games 2010 Delhi has been embarassing us Indians beyond tolerance. Some of us may choose not to talk about it, hoping it'll go away; Like a boil on our foreheads. But alas, it's septic my friend. So you say, What can we do? These politicians are always stealing, so whats new? I say, there are certainly two options before us. Option 1: KILL OURSELVES. Aah!!...you disagree...you say it isn't that bad uh? You accuse me of being a cynic? Let me remind you my friend, with images from the world media, and what they see.

Reason1: In the beginning there was DOPE. Despite being the host nation, our own wrestlers and shot putters decided put a few shots into their veins. We dont lead by example, we showcase bad examples, thats a positive trait too...aint it? "Sama hai suhaana suhaana nashe mein jahaan hain"

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Reason2: Then God made mosquitoes. No praablem, kalmadi said "kachua jalao machar bhagao", look look, you can see the smoke from a giant mosquito coil at the games village site.

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Reason3: Tip tip barsa paani, pani ne aag lagaayi.... Yeah the rains came down on us and washed away the shooting range. You should remember, at this point that, the international observers are onsite, reporting our every move.

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Reason4: Financial Fiasco. They took the name too literally, "Common" wealth games, let us all make money!!! Power, Equipments, Soap, Sports Equipments... everything has been hired at prices 10 times their costs. "The whole thing is damned, ke bhaiya sabse bada rupaiyya"

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Reason5: "London bridge is falling down, falling down..".  Good News: "When the bridge came down, none of the guest players were on or underneath it" Bad News: " Some labourers were underneath it, and the western media saw the whole thing play out".

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Reason6: Indian Masala. you know...uhm....We Indians never miss an oppurtunity in such avenues. "Sab gandha par dhandha ye..."

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Reason7: Security. There have been shootings(One that does not involve actors...pah!!) near the site. (On a second thought, maybe it involved actors... maybe out of state actors...who knows?). Anyway, Indian Mujaheedin have claimed responsibility. "Who let the dogs out?"

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Reason8: The orangutan pretending to be ashamed.

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Okay, after all these reasons you still haven't found it reason enough to kill yourself, thats fine. So what's Option2 you ask. Option two is to boycott the show. Dont watch it on TV, dont go to the stadium.

Your views pleej:

Story1:

I was touring Iceland and I came to this place to behold this spectacular volcano. Ever since the volcano began billowing ash, it has quickly turned into a tourist hot spot. I was getting my picture taken, facing my cameraman, with a plastic smile on my face and with my back towards the volcano, when all of a sudden, my cameraman looked up, his eyes widened, and he dashed off like road runner leaving the camera and tripod behind in a cloud of dust. The sight was as funny as it was alarming. Impulsively, I looked back to realize that the volcano had started to spew hot molten magma. The magma flew far and wide into the skies and I was sure one of those chunks of fire would get me. I grabbed my tripod and dashed, there was commotion everywhere. I tried to get to my dear ones on the telephone to tell them of the events. I told them I was touring a volcanic site when the volcano erupted. And then, they wanted to know which volcano it was. And I hollered back instantly – Eyjafjallajokull !!!!

Story2:

Natasha was writing a surprise test, her second one in 8th grade. She was confident and composed, with eyes that reflected calmness.

This was one test for which she did not have to study; it just came to her naturally. There were just 3 questions, and her answers would flow out effortlessly, as always.  She knew she got them all right.

1.Part of brain dealing with autonomic functions – medulla oblongata.

2.Intercellular interconnected network of tubules – endoplasmic reticulum.

3.The biological name of musli weed - chlorophytum borivilianum.

At the end of her test, Natasha wondered why they even bother themselves with these tests. The answers were so easy, the test looked silly.

 Story 3:

Pradhan liked body building; in fact most of his day was spent at the gym where he worked as a trainer. When he wasn't training, he spoke to every trainee about exercise techniques, body compositions, diets, nutritional scales, fat reduction, body mass index, muscle toning etc. He ate protein rich foods, avoided sugars and was allergic to fats. He worked out twice a day, a cardio vascular training in the morning, and a weight training in the evening with the trainer who came in to take his place over the next shift. He read body building magazines and all his friends had necks as wide as their jaws. He was a body builder in all accounts. He even dreamt of body building. His dream was to be Arnold. The seven time holder of the title of Mr. Universe - The Hollywood actor who stars in Terminator and True Lies. Pradhan knew everything about Arnie, all except his hero's second name.

Sometimes I drive my dad to the supermarket to shop provisions and groceries. It’s a monthly ritual which starts with the list of items from the previous month. The list is revised in consultation with every family member, and with some safe assumptions such as, “We won’t be needing prickly heat powder, now that the rains are here”. Although items are in no particular order, the essential items seem to take precedence, items like rice, wheat flour, lentils, salt, oil etc. Then come the variables – items that are required, but whose quantities vary depending on the weather, festivities, consumption and such parameters, namely, items such as chili powder, black pepper, turmeric, spices, ghee, cosmetics (cold cream, sun screen, lip balm yada yada). Then there are perishables for immediate consumption, items like meat, tomatoes, onions etc. Then finally there is a list of miscellaneous items sprinkled with weird sounding stuff like ajinomoto, asafoetida, Navratna cool oil and Eastern puttu podi.

Living in Koramangala is a good thing; all the big names in retail supermarket industry (Spar, Reliance fresh, Spencers, Foodworld, M2S, Big Bazaar) have set up shop here. When it comes to choosing among them, I have an order of preference based on these parameters:

1) Parking

2) Spread and Inventory (I prefer to finish all of the shopping at one place)

3) Average number of female customers, and

4) Hiding places within aisles(ya, I know that’s weird, but that’s how I get to avoid purchasing auto magazines, by reading them between aisles, and promptly replacing them before the billing counter).

My dad has his own order of preference based on completely different factors, which I have understood as

1) Freshness of the Fish

2) Promotional Offers (Buy 2 kg sugar, get one litre Goldwinner sunflower oil free etc)

3) Cost of items

4) Because he made up his mind.

As is the case at most times, my dad vetoed the place we were to shop last month. It was a supermarket located insensitively at the edge of a busy street, with no parking facility. Usually, I’d have to drop my dad at the entrance and set off on my own to find unoccupied parking slots, much like Sisyphus rolling away his rock; parking was my yoke to bear. And believe me, if you actually looked for it, you’d find a dodo bird sooner than a parking lot near this mall. I approached the supermarket reluctantly wearing a frown visible from the moon, I was right in front of the supermarket ready to redeem my dad when… Holy Cow!!... I was surprised to find a decent looking white sedan parked on the pavement, and the words ‘PARKING’ written in bold red on the ground next to the white sedan. I was thrilled; I did a quick sharp swerve and parked perfectly next to the car. My dad didn’t appreciate my resourcefulness or my nimbleness on the wheel, he just opened his door and set off, list in hand, never looking back. I was beaming as I got off the car; I looked around to see if a crowd had gathered to cheer my maneuver, luckily nobody had noticed; I hate drawing attention. I marveled at the picture-perfect parking of my car and patted myself in an unbiased and modest way. I soon stepped into the mall, unhinged a shopping cart and took off behind my dad whistling a tune to myself.

After looping around the aisles for half an hour we were done with the shopping. I strategically steered the cart to the counter that had just one lady at the billing section, while the rest of the counters had an average of 4 people in line. Flourish. I looked at people in the adjacent queues understandingly, people often make error in judgment while choosing queues, and people tend to gravitate towards other people, without realizing that they’d have to wait longer. I then saw a tiny boy run in from behind me and drop something suspicious inside the cart of the lady ahead of us. The lady dug into the cart, shouted ‘Pranav!!’ and ran off behind the child, suspicious thing in hand. I stuck my neck out behind them; the kid was running along the maze of aisles, and his mom behind him constantly calling out his name in different tones. Soon the kid starts to drop things and the supermarket staff joins the game. Total chaos, I had a hearty laugh, and casually looked back, and my smile faded instantly. I discovered that people who earlier stood behind other counters were all gone. I didn’t think I could feel any worse as my dad and I carried our bags out.

I had spoken too fast, I could indeed feel worse. My car had DISAPPEARED. I looked around confused and frustrated as I wondered how it could have been burgled. I then saw a Nepali security guard grinning as he told me the police had towed the car away. I decided that I was too young for capital punishment so I let the Gorkha live. After asking around a bit we caught up with the towing truck, which was disgracefully dragging my car along. We waved down the truck and argued that the tow was unfair as we had parked legally, infact right on top of the red letters that read PARKING. Soon our car was lowered slowly and one of the cops hitched a ride in our car to the scene to settle things. On reaching the place, as anticipated, we saw the words ‘PARKING’ painted on the ground. My dad and I were giving each other high fives, when suddenly the white sedan that was earlier parked next to my car backed up and sped off. And on the ground where the car was parked, were the words ‘NO’ written in red.

Then in time I met a queer man, who said his name was Shelly,

I alight the coach, and take the waiting ford, to meet dear Mr. Ogden,

Anyways, i'm finally awake,  and i think I'm J, and then, like, I’m not so sure,

Somewhere towards the north of our country is an ancient civilization which I will call AC. This civilization has traditionally had thinkers and philosophers, they have had great inventors and innovators, their technology almost always outpaced the rest of the world. AC’s warring techniques were constantly upgraded, and they flourished in art and culture and soon developed into a powerful nation. However, the emperors in AC were always wary of attacks from outside and built walls to keep away attacking tribes. Safe within these walls, the success of AC was evident in their products and lifestyle and during the Middle Ages; people came from far to trade with AC.  On one particular incident traders came from a small island – IE, requesting permission to trade goods in AC’s territory. The traders of IE were made to kneel before AC’s emperor in the most humiliating way, for as far as AC’s emperor was concerned, the traders of IE were mere peasants begging for the emperor’s kindness. However the emperor of AC was greatly mistaken, these traders of IE were people with deep rooted nationalism and ambition.  The traders of the island of IE adhered to the code of conduct that was imposed on them, however, they promised never to forget the humiliation meted out to them. They went back home to IE and devised a plan to overtake AC. The traders continued to trade despite the harsh trade rules and negligible profits, but each time, the traders brought in a secret product – Opium. The product was sold exclusively to noblemen and military heads. Soon Opium grew in popularity and most war lords and chieftains of AC were addicted, and soon the nation crumbled under an addicted, disinterested and wasteful youth. In a surprise move, IE attacked AC and AC was humiliated with loss of many islands to IE. Surprisingly, another little island IJ attacked AC and made inroads into the territory.  AC was bruised and introspective. AC realized that there have always been elements within AC that have accepted bribes and traded vital information with foreigners; the community became spiteful of anybody outside their territory. The compromises made by military and political heads against the national interests of AC caused its citizens to look forward to a totalitarian form of governance.  As expected, a revolution swept across AC and AC morphed into MC – a red state.

MC abolished slavery, removed titles and distributed wealth amongst its people. MC kept a fast industrial and economic growth rate. MC would do anything to stay at the top. The state – MC, was of utmost importance, and soon the man on the streets of MC was losing identity, very much like an ant’s nest where the entire population is regarded as a workforce serving it's nest in it's own way. The government controlled spirituality, opinion etc. Soon information reaching the masses was controlled, even internet based companies were asked to restrict information available to its citizens. MC’s movies were always about two acrobatic fighters flying around in combat while constantly defying gravity. There were hardly any movies that questioned government policies, or movies that depicted lifestyles etc. MC controlled spread of religion and spirituality and directed the entire population to grow militarily and economically, the wish of the individual came second to that of the state. And now as things stand our nation considers MC to be a threat to our sovereignty.

What we fail to understand is while our biggest threat may be a big nation such as MC; wars can be won, even against great armies and big nations, it has happened in the past. One tiny country in the Middle East simultaneously fought 5 armies and defeated all of them in 6 days – it has gone down in history as the 6 day war. So we can continue to hope of victory even in the unlikely event of a war.  Why is war unlikely? Well firstly, Economics -  In it’s run up to economic success, MC has increased trade with uncle Sam, to an extent where the sales of Uncle Sam’s products worldwide is vital for the manufacturing sectors of MC to stay at it’s current pace.  And as things stand, our nation is a big buyer of Uncle Sam’s products, destroying us will slow down Uncle Sam, and consequently affect MC. Furthermore, Uncle Sam hardly shops in our country, except for some software and back office work, our manufacturers have a huge domestic market, and an even diverse offshore market.

While we fear the threat of MC, MC’s biggest threat is not a country that it can fight. MC’s biggest threat is - It’s Own People. MC cannot afford to open up information to its people like we have, for fear of making government spending transparent; MC cannot make policies based on popularity, and it trusts think tanks to evaluate its policies.  MC’s people need to be constantly disciplined, much like schoolchildren. The people are kept together not always by will, but mostly by force causing dissatisfaction and fear. The growing dissatisfaction may boil over at any given moment, and an expensive war just happens to be the right environment for such a revolution, making war even more impractical. Economics apart, the great victory of our nation is that it has managed to keep various religions, various languages and various ethnicities together as one. This has helped a great deal, people don’t see fast trains and over imposing skyscrapers in our nation as visible in the cities of MC, but people don’t fail to notice the freedom that exists in ours either. Our success is in a soft victory, a victory of hearts. Our nation may not have covered much area below people's feet, rather, it has grown in their hearts. Win people’s confidence and you can win them all.

Hey, why don’t you check these video’s too -  

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/videos/news/Arunachal-students-boycott-Chinese-products/videoshow/5549132.cms

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/videos/news/Chinas-claim-on-Arunachal-baseless-says-Dalai-Lama/videoshow/5210649.cms

Nations spend millions of dollars developing nuclear weapons but never use them – it’s such an utter waste of money and resources. Now don’t tell me there is a deterrent effect to those weapons; USA, Russia, UK, Israel, Pakistan and India have all been attacked in the recent past, and some of these nuclear powers continue to be attacked quite regularly.

Those bombs don’t seem to be effective in scaring terrorists, and people are left wondering whether these weapons even have the capability that the scientists claim they do. So am I saying that we shouldn’t have developed these weapons in the first place?

Absolutely not! I’m saying, let’s get out there, bomb our adversaries and have a mushroom cloud contest.

There are many animal and plant species that are struggling at the borderline of extinction, finding a habitat, finding food sources and finally finding mates are becoming extremely challenging for many species – I submit that we put them out of this misery.

Then, there is this environmental hazard, global warming seems to threaten low lying nations bordering oceans with - floods, storms and water calamities. Glaciers are melting fast, and the great Himalayan glaciers are estimated to drain out by the year 2035.  Melting glaciers would affect agriculture in a catastrophic way drying rivers, displacing farmers, and causing huge food grain shortages. Does humanity want to live under a constant shadow of threat? I say we end it our way. I say we all go down in a blaze of glory; rather than carrying on in our pitiful manner knowing quite well that a tsunami may soon engulf us.

While on one hand most people claim that they derive their morals from their religions, on the other hand, they write off a nuclear war as amoral. In most religious scriptures we easily find prophets and Gods decreeing death to their enemies. In many scriptures God seems to personally hand down packages of storms, rains of fire, floods, locusts, famine etc.  in order to wipe out his (God is male, end of argument) adversaries. Do we not follow by example? Why do we allow our adversaries to have a field day, while God has bestowed on us the knowledge and the capability that can exterminate the scum of the world? We should not waste one minute now; we have the directions in our scriptures and the capability in our bombs, what are waiting for?

Finally, humanity has been embarrassing itself long enough; we have been rendering our eminent prophets as quacks and their prophecies as fallacies. Most prophecies are long overdue, and it is making us look bad in the eyes of those aliens. Even directors in Hollywood are having trouble coming up with doomsday dates and names. When one makes movies knowing of imminent danger, the movies will definitely be hard hitting and natural unlike the current string of doomsday movies, where one expects Bruce Wills to save the world. I suggest we stick with one date – say 20^th December 2012, and make sure the curtains come down on that day amidst fireworks.

What springs to your mind when I say 'Mumbai - Pakistan'? For me, it's the terrorist attacks of 26/11. I know I am a good natured person who ultimately seeks peace, but I am not willing to pretend to be smiling while I continue to bleed. My wounds from 26/11 haven't yet healed, and I refuse to kiss and make up with the enemy.

Yes, I said it - the ENEMY. I don’t need to be politically correct, I only need two things - 1) facts and 2) freedom of speech and expression. If a nation funds terrorist organizations** that carry out attacks in my country. If a nation teaches in it's history books *** that the 1971 war was an unjust war initiated by my country. (Although the whole world knows about the Pakistan orchastrated genocide in East Pakistan, and India's involvement to liberate Bangladesh from doom). If a nation continues to destabilize my country by encouraging separatists. If television personalities of a country, celebrities like Zaid Hamid, go on air over and over again and call for nuke strikes targetting my country. As a patriotic citizen, I reserve my right to classify that country as my enemy. Make no mistake, I am not calling for war, I am just not in a mood to call that state my friend.

Now coming to Aman ki Asha (translation: Wish for Peace) of Times of India - I think it's bollocks and pretty smelly ones at that.

It’s a well known fact that America is fighting terror within Pakistan and that the terrorists are on the run from drone strikes , pakistani forces and US forces. The terrorists are also seeking sanctuary in other countries in the region. There have also been attempts by the terroists to sneak into India to destabilize the region according to the findings of our own intelligence agency. In such a situation, people to people contacts, easy border movements, visa relaxations, trade relaxations etc are not acheivable without comprimising our security. And as often is the case, there is no way of telling a terrorist from a tailor.

Somebody in Times of India, knows how to make good sales and how to catch the nation's attention. While there is a traditional means of achieving sales through good reporting, it chose to take the other path. It started with regular features on Page3 parties and celebrity gossips (good to know news). It went on to regular features of scantily clad women (which I appreciated). Eventually with this campaign the TOI has fallen far below its standards. The marketing team at TOI know that a good majority of the Indian Public is still aching by the wounds of 26/11 while those who are too withdrawn from National interest want to sound stylish, sophisticated and optimistic. A campaign such as the Aman Ki Asha will get both sides of the society talking. Cheap publicity stunt at the cost of the Nation's Self Respect.

Self Respect is a good thing to discuss, why is it that our nation always finds itself begging for the friendship of an arrogant Pakistan? Why does India have to invent pointless initiatives such as this one time and again? Why can't we wait till we hear an apology from Pakistan? Why couldn't TOI wait till the families of former ATS chief Hemant Karkare and braveheart cop Tukaram Ombale are given a compensation? Why do we need to sprinkle salt on the wounds of the patriots to make peace?

The philosophy 'Make love , not war' is all quite fine. But here is TOI insisting that we get into to bed with our enemies by selling our self respect and pawning our security.

Disclaimer: I have unsubscribed TOI and Bangalore Mirror.

(** there are ample proofs for the state sponsored terrorism in Pakistan including Indian, British and US defence reports, and Pakistan's own president has acknowledged it in a leading UK newspaper here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/pakistan/5779916/Pakistani-president-Asif-Zardari-admits-creating-terrorist-groups.html)

(*** http://www.sacw.net/article459.html report by Pakistani Union minister)

Me      and my guitar  

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Greenday

Watch my other videos? http://www.youtube.com/user/sujaysukumar123

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Symptoms:

Nothing hits as hard as hangovers do. At it’s worst, the hangovers give you almost audible headaches and you are unable to carry out simple tasks. Here is a list of typical symptoms.

• headache
• irritability
• uneasiness and heartburn
• nausea
• fatigue
• dehydration
• body aches
• vomiting
• dizziness
• loss of appetite
• diarrhea.

Prevention Methods:

1. Limit your drinking –The more you drink, the worse the hangover.
2. Don’t start drinking on an empty stomach (make sure you’ve eaten at least as much as one McDonalds Happy Meal burger less than 2 hours prior to your first drink )
3. Eat while you drink – munching occasionally on moisture rich foods such as eggs and cucumbers is a good idea. Not all food groups are good here; avoid spicy, salty and dry foods.
4. Dilute your drink in plenty of water – This may be applicable for whiskey, rum and brandy. Dehydration is the number one cause for hangovers, diluting your drink in water will allow hydration. However, not all drinks mix well in water.
5. Water - Ingest as much water during and after your drinking session
6. Never Mix drinks – There are at least two explanations why

i.                    Every drink has its own unique set of congeners (fermentation impurities). Mixing drinks will ingest various types of congeners into your system, pushing the kidney into overdrive. The kidney in an attempt to flush out the various congeners will inadvertently get rid of essential salts and water in the process. Sticking to one kind of drink is a very good idea.

ii.                  Since different drinks have different concentrations of alcohol. The person mixing drinks is basically ingesting alcohol into the system at various rates and will increase the Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) in a sudden surge. This is because rate of alcohol absorption and rate of dissipation vary for various drinks. It is very likely that rate of absorption into the blood for the subsequent type of drink peaks even before the dissipation of the earlier type of drink.

7. Avoid carbonated drinks – Although sodas and other aerated drinks are popular go-alongs, their pH levels range from 2.4 to 3.4 making them alarmingly acidic, and they often are responsible for acidity. Acidity is the number one cause for uneasiness and heartburn.

8. Sleep in a well ventilated room after your drinking - Allow flow of clean, fresh air as good breathing reduces the incidence of nausea, one of the effects of hangovers.

Cures:

1. Drink plenty of water – continue to drink clean (preferably boiled and cooled) water mixed with mild electrolyte, especially if you are vomiting. If you can’t get your hands on electrolyte powder, add 4 teaspoons of sugar and half a teaspoon of salt into one liter of water and dissolve thoroughly. The water should not be overly sweet or salty.
2. Tender Coconut milk / Lemon juice – If readily available, tender coconuts are the best remedy. The tender coconut milk contains essential salts and sugars that replenish the body apart from hydrating it. Lemon juice has vitamin C, which helps too.
3. Fluid Intake – Avoid starting with solid foods, it is best to start with water and glucose, then move on to fruit juices and to gradually move on to fruits. Fruits such as bananas and apples are especially good.
4. Don’t suppress the vomiting sensation – Vomiting will expel the alcohol in your stomach.
5. Possible Medication – Uneasiness, heart burn and nausea are often related to acidity. After consultation with a physician one may take medication such as mild dosage of Rabeprazole sodium and Domperidone. There are products such as Alka Seltzer which are very popular in curing such conditions. However, medication should only be taken as per the directions of the doctor.

Donts:

1. Don’t consume dairy products – Avoid milk, curd and buttermilk for one whole day especially if you have heightened uneasiness, irritability and nausea. Many people are mildly ‘lactose Intolerant’ and may worsen the situation by consuming dairy products. Milk is particularly difficult to digest, what the body needs is quick and easy nourishment.
2. Don’t induce vomiting – inducing vomiting by inserting a finger into one’s throat to expel the alcohol is a bad idea, especially without the consent of a physician. Inducing the vomiting sensation can cause harm to the esophageal tract.
3. Don’t drink coffee – coffee has diuretic properties, rather than alleviating the headache, it will cause loss of hydration and increase your hangover.
4. Don’t drink alcohol to avoid hangover- this is the ‘Hair of the dog that bit you’ tactic. Like doesn’t necessarily cure like. You will end up damaging your kidneys and liver if you drink to suppress hangover.