Somewhere towards the north of our country is an ancient civilization which I will call AC. This civilization has traditionally had thinkers and philosophers, they have had great inventors and innovators, their technology almost always outpaced the rest of the world. AC’s warring techniques were constantly upgraded, and they flourished in art and culture and soon developed into a powerful nation. However, the emperors in AC were always wary of attacks from outside and built walls to keep away attacking tribes. Safe within these walls, the success of AC was evident in their products and lifestyle and during the Middle Ages; people came from far to trade with AC.  On one particular incident traders came from a small island – IE, requesting permission to trade goods in AC’s territory. The traders of IE were made to kneel before AC’s emperor in the most humiliating way, for as far as AC’s emperor was concerned, the traders of IE were mere peasants begging for the emperor’s kindness. However the emperor of AC was greatly mistaken, these traders of IE were people with deep rooted nationalism and ambition.  The traders of the island of IE adhered to the code of conduct that was imposed on them, however, they promised never to forget the humiliation meted out to them. They went back home to IE and devised a plan to overtake AC. The traders continued to trade despite the harsh trade rules and negligible profits, but each time, the traders brought in a secret product – Opium. The product was sold exclusively to noblemen and military heads. Soon Opium grew in popularity and most war lords and chieftains of AC were addicted, and soon the nation crumbled under an addicted, disinterested and wasteful youth. In a surprise move, IE attacked AC and AC was humiliated with loss of many islands to IE. Surprisingly, another little island IJ attacked AC and made inroads into the territory.  AC was bruised and introspective. AC realized that there have always been elements within AC that have accepted bribes and traded vital information with foreigners; the community became spiteful of anybody outside their territory. The compromises made by military and political heads against the national interests of AC caused its citizens to look forward to a totalitarian form of governance.  As expected, a revolution swept across AC and AC morphed into MC – a red state.

MC abolished slavery, removed titles and distributed wealth amongst its people. MC kept a fast industrial and economic growth rate. MC would do anything to stay at the top. The state – MC, was of utmost importance, and soon the man on the streets of MC was losing identity, very much like an ant’s nest where the entire population is regarded as a workforce serving it's nest in it's own way. The government controlled spirituality, opinion etc. Soon information reaching the masses was controlled, even internet based companies were asked to restrict information available to its citizens. MC’s movies were always about two acrobatic fighters flying around in combat while constantly defying gravity. There were hardly any movies that questioned government policies, or movies that depicted lifestyles etc. MC controlled spread of religion and spirituality and directed the entire population to grow militarily and economically, the wish of the individual came second to that of the state. And now as things stand our nation considers MC to be a threat to our sovereignty.

What we fail to understand is while our biggest threat may be a big nation such as MC; wars can be won, even against great armies and big nations, it has happened in the past. One tiny country in the Middle East simultaneously fought 5 armies and defeated all of them in 6 days – it has gone down in history as the 6 day war. So we can continue to hope of victory even in the unlikely event of a war.  Why is war unlikely? Well firstly, Economics -  In it’s run up to economic success, MC has increased trade with uncle Sam, to an extent where the sales of Uncle Sam’s products worldwide is vital for the manufacturing sectors of MC to stay at it’s current pace.  And as things stand, our nation is a big buyer of Uncle Sam’s products, destroying us will slow down Uncle Sam, and consequently affect MC. Furthermore, Uncle Sam hardly shops in our country, except for some software and back office work, our manufacturers have a huge domestic market, and an even diverse offshore market.

While we fear the threat of MC, MC’s biggest threat is not a country that it can fight. MC’s biggest threat is - It’s Own People. MC cannot afford to open up information to its people like we have, for fear of making government spending transparent; MC cannot make policies based on popularity, and it trusts think tanks to evaluate its policies.  MC’s people need to be constantly disciplined, much like schoolchildren. The people are kept together not always by will, but mostly by force causing dissatisfaction and fear. The growing dissatisfaction may boil over at any given moment, and an expensive war just happens to be the right environment for such a revolution, making war even more impractical. Economics apart, the great victory of our nation is that it has managed to keep various religions, various languages and various ethnicities together as one. This has helped a great deal, people don’t see fast trains and over imposing skyscrapers in our nation as visible in the cities of MC, but people don’t fail to notice the freedom that exists in ours either. Our success is in a soft victory, a victory of hearts. Our nation may not have covered much area below people's feet, rather, it has grown in their hearts. Win people’s confidence and you can win them all.

Hey, why don’t you check these video’s too -  

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/videos/news/Arunachal-students-boycott-Chinese-products/videoshow/5549132.cms

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/videos/news/Chinas-claim-on-Arunachal-baseless-says-Dalai-Lama/videoshow/5210649.cms

Nations spend millions of dollars developing nuclear weapons but never use them – it’s such an utter waste of money and resources. Now don’t tell me there is a deterrent effect to those weapons; USA, Russia, UK, Israel, Pakistan and India have all been attacked in the recent past, and some of these nuclear powers continue to be attacked quite regularly.

Those bombs don’t seem to be effective in scaring terrorists, and people are left wondering whether these weapons even have the capability that the scientists claim they do. So am I saying that we shouldn’t have developed these weapons in the first place?

Absolutely not! I’m saying, let’s get out there, bomb our adversaries and have a mushroom cloud contest.

There are many animal and plant species that are struggling at the borderline of extinction, finding a habitat, finding food sources and finally finding mates are becoming extremely challenging for many species – I submit that we put them out of this misery.

Then, there is this environmental hazard, global warming seems to threaten low lying nations bordering oceans with - floods, storms and water calamities. Glaciers are melting fast, and the great Himalayan glaciers are estimated to drain out by the year 2035.  Melting glaciers would affect agriculture in a catastrophic way drying rivers, displacing farmers, and causing huge food grain shortages. Does humanity want to live under a constant shadow of threat? I say we end it our way. I say we all go down in a blaze of glory; rather than carrying on in our pitiful manner knowing quite well that a tsunami may soon engulf us.

While on one hand most people claim that they derive their morals from their religions, on the other hand, they write off a nuclear war as amoral. In most religious scriptures we easily find prophets and Gods decreeing death to their enemies. In many scriptures God seems to personally hand down packages of storms, rains of fire, floods, locusts, famine etc.  in order to wipe out his (God is male, end of argument) adversaries. Do we not follow by example? Why do we allow our adversaries to have a field day, while God has bestowed on us the knowledge and the capability that can exterminate the scum of the world? We should not waste one minute now; we have the directions in our scriptures and the capability in our bombs, what are waiting for?

Finally, humanity has been embarrassing itself long enough; we have been rendering our eminent prophets as quacks and their prophecies as fallacies. Most prophecies are long overdue, and it is making us look bad in the eyes of those aliens. Even directors in Hollywood are having trouble coming up with doomsday dates and names. When one makes movies knowing of imminent danger, the movies will definitely be hard hitting and natural unlike the current string of doomsday movies, where one expects Bruce Wills to save the world. I suggest we stick with one date – say 20^th December 2012, and make sure the curtains come down on that day amidst fireworks.

What springs to your mind when I say 'Mumbai - Pakistan'? For me, it's the terrorist attacks of 26/11. I know I am a good natured person who ultimately seeks peace, but I am not willing to pretend to be smiling while I continue to bleed. My wounds from 26/11 haven't yet healed, and I refuse to kiss and make up with the enemy.

Yes, I said it - the ENEMY. I don’t need to be politically correct, I only need two things - 1) facts and 2) freedom of speech and expression. If a nation funds terrorist organizations** that carry out attacks in my country. If a nation teaches in it's history books *** that the 1971 war was an unjust war initiated by my country. (Although the whole world knows about the Pakistan orchastrated genocide in East Pakistan, and India's involvement to liberate Bangladesh from doom). If a nation continues to destabilize my country by encouraging separatists. If television personalities of a country, celebrities like Zaid Hamid, go on air over and over again and call for nuke strikes targetting my country. As a patriotic citizen, I reserve my right to classify that country as my enemy. Make no mistake, I am not calling for war, I am just not in a mood to call that state my friend.

Now coming to Aman ki Asha (translation: Wish for Peace) of Times of India - I think it's bollocks and pretty smelly ones at that.

It’s a well known fact that America is fighting terror within Pakistan and that the terrorists are on the run from drone strikes , pakistani forces and US forces. The terrorists are also seeking sanctuary in other countries in the region. There have also been attempts by the terroists to sneak into India to destabilize the region according to the findings of our own intelligence agency. In such a situation, people to people contacts, easy border movements, visa relaxations, trade relaxations etc are not acheivable without comprimising our security. And as often is the case, there is no way of telling a terrorist from a tailor.

Somebody in Times of India, knows how to make good sales and how to catch the nation's attention. While there is a traditional means of achieving sales through good reporting, it chose to take the other path. It started with regular features on Page3 parties and celebrity gossips (good to know news). It went on to regular features of scantily clad women (which I appreciated). Eventually with this campaign the TOI has fallen far below its standards. The marketing team at TOI know that a good majority of the Indian Public is still aching by the wounds of 26/11 while those who are too withdrawn from National interest want to sound stylish, sophisticated and optimistic. A campaign such as the Aman Ki Asha will get both sides of the society talking. Cheap publicity stunt at the cost of the Nation's Self Respect.

Self Respect is a good thing to discuss, why is it that our nation always finds itself begging for the friendship of an arrogant Pakistan? Why does India have to invent pointless initiatives such as this one time and again? Why can't we wait till we hear an apology from Pakistan? Why couldn't TOI wait till the families of former ATS chief Hemant Karkare and braveheart cop Tukaram Ombale are given a compensation? Why do we need to sprinkle salt on the wounds of the patriots to make peace?

The philosophy 'Make love , not war' is all quite fine. But here is TOI insisting that we get into to bed with our enemies by selling our self respect and pawning our security.

Disclaimer: I have unsubscribed TOI and Bangalore Mirror.

(** there are ample proofs for the state sponsored terrorism in Pakistan including Indian, British and US defence reports, and Pakistan's own president has acknowledged it in a leading UK newspaper here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/pakistan/5779916/Pakistani-president-Asif-Zardari-admits-creating-terrorist-groups.html)

(*** http://www.sacw.net/article459.html report by Pakistani Union minister)

Me      and my guitar  

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Greenday

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Symptoms:

Nothing hits as hard as hangovers do. At it’s worst, the hangovers give you almost audible headaches and you are unable to carry out simple tasks. Here is a list of typical symptoms.

• headache
• irritability
• uneasiness and heartburn
• nausea
• fatigue
• dehydration
• body aches
• vomiting
• dizziness
• loss of appetite
• diarrhea.

Prevention Methods:

1. Limit your drinking –The more you drink, the worse the hangover.
2. Don’t start drinking on an empty stomach (make sure you’ve eaten at least as much as one McDonalds Happy Meal burger less than 2 hours prior to your first drink )
3. Eat while you drink – munching occasionally on moisture rich foods such as eggs and cucumbers is a good idea. Not all food groups are good here; avoid spicy, salty and dry foods.
4. Dilute your drink in plenty of water – This may be applicable for whiskey, rum and brandy. Dehydration is the number one cause for hangovers, diluting your drink in water will allow hydration. However, not all drinks mix well in water.
5. Water - Ingest as much water during and after your drinking session
6. Never Mix drinks – There are at least two explanations why

i.                    Every drink has its own unique set of congeners (fermentation impurities). Mixing drinks will ingest various types of congeners into your system, pushing the kidney into overdrive. The kidney in an attempt to flush out the various congeners will inadvertently get rid of essential salts and water in the process. Sticking to one kind of drink is a very good idea.

ii.                  Since different drinks have different concentrations of alcohol. The person mixing drinks is basically ingesting alcohol into the system at various rates and will increase the Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) in a sudden surge. This is because rate of alcohol absorption and rate of dissipation vary for various drinks. It is very likely that rate of absorption into the blood for the subsequent type of drink peaks even before the dissipation of the earlier type of drink.

7. Avoid carbonated drinks – Although sodas and other aerated drinks are popular go-alongs, their pH levels range from 2.4 to 3.4 making them alarmingly acidic, and they often are responsible for acidity. Acidity is the number one cause for uneasiness and heartburn.

8. Sleep in a well ventilated room after your drinking - Allow flow of clean, fresh air as good breathing reduces the incidence of nausea, one of the effects of hangovers.

Cures:

1. Drink plenty of water – continue to drink clean (preferably boiled and cooled) water mixed with mild electrolyte, especially if you are vomiting. If you can’t get your hands on electrolyte powder, add 4 teaspoons of sugar and half a teaspoon of salt into one liter of water and dissolve thoroughly. The water should not be overly sweet or salty.
2. Tender Coconut milk / Lemon juice – If readily available, tender coconuts are the best remedy. The tender coconut milk contains essential salts and sugars that replenish the body apart from hydrating it. Lemon juice has vitamin C, which helps too.
3. Fluid Intake – Avoid starting with solid foods, it is best to start with water and glucose, then move on to fruit juices and to gradually move on to fruits. Fruits such as bananas and apples are especially good.
4. Don’t suppress the vomiting sensation – Vomiting will expel the alcohol in your stomach.
5. Possible Medication – Uneasiness, heart burn and nausea are often related to acidity. After consultation with a physician one may take medication such as mild dosage of Rabeprazole sodium and Domperidone. There are products such as Alka Seltzer which are very popular in curing such conditions. However, medication should only be taken as per the directions of the doctor.

Donts:

1. Don’t consume dairy products – Avoid milk, curd and buttermilk for one whole day especially if you have heightened uneasiness, irritability and nausea. Many people are mildly ‘lactose Intolerant’ and may worsen the situation by consuming dairy products. Milk is particularly difficult to digest, what the body needs is quick and easy nourishment.
2. Don’t induce vomiting – inducing vomiting by inserting a finger into one’s throat to expel the alcohol is a bad idea, especially without the consent of a physician. Inducing the vomiting sensation can cause harm to the esophageal tract.
3. Don’t drink coffee – coffee has diuretic properties, rather than alleviating the headache, it will cause loss of hydration and increase your hangover.
4. Don’t drink alcohol to avoid hangover- this is the ‘Hair of the dog that bit you’ tactic. Like doesn’t necessarily cure like. You will end up damaging your kidneys and liver if you drink to suppress hangover.

I believe I have a problem.

After having covered about a kilometer from the house, my heart starts to pound, my face starts to flush and I suddenly realize I’m gonna  have to face that dreaded question again -  ”DID I LOCK THE HOUSE”??

Invariably after the question hits me, things play out in exactly the same way.

I start to relive the last few minutes before I finally stepped out of home…and for some goddamn reason, I’ll remember every trivial thing…like the fly that flew past my face as I bent down to pick my shoes… everything plays out in great detail, till the part where I step out of the house. It’s like playing a video in your mind, and exactly when it comes to the part where the door has to be locked, the image is distorted. I go through this process twice, at which point, I’m about 2 kilometers away from home.

This is exactly the point when my mobile will ring.  

Now, on the other end is Ms. Anita who firmly believes I need a credit card from Petty Bank. I tell her I’m not interested. She wants to know why. I’ve begun to sweat at this point in time. The traffic signal turns green. The SUV behind me starts to honk. Too many things happening. I apologize to Ms.Credit Card and hang up. The SUV guy has shifted  his honking from the “we will rock you” rhythm to a continuous “I will kick your butt” blare.

I let the chap overtake me, he looks down to my mini car through his Rayban as he passes by. I read his lips, I recognize two of the words from his mouth - he speaks Shakespearean. I am still not sure whether I locked the house. I am now 3 kilometers away from home.

Silence. One minute goes by and I am stil driving.

Now I hear two distinct voices, funnily, both are mine.

Voice 1: “It’s best that you turn around, go back home and confirm”

Voice 2: “You’ve been doing this perfectly everyday. You definitely locked it today”

Voice 1: “But, what if you actually forgot to lock today? Your house could be empty when you got back”.

Voice 2: “Come on, you are about 4 kilometers from your house now. Do you want to drive through rush hour traffic only to ridiculously stare at a locked door? Especially, a door you locked yourself 10 minutes ago?”

Voice 1: “The thought is gonna bug you all through the day at work”

Voice 2: ” You locked it pal, I know…uhm…I think”.

Voice 1 wins. I turn back. I’m driving back home to check.

The cars in front of me seem to be taking forever. I honk. I look at my watch. I know I’ll be late today. I need an excuse; I can’t use this one, as I’ve overused it.  I honk in the “we will rock you” rhythm just to keep the chap in front of me on his toes. Goddamnit!!! The guy driving the sedan in front of me is talking over the phone, what a nerve!! I lower my windshield and give him the bird.

I come home, and see the door safely bolted and locked.

Voice 2: “Heee-haw!! Jackass”!!